One of the most prevalent pieces of advice shared with budding writers is, "don't quit your day job."
When I started taking my writing dreams seriously three years ago, I cemented this advice as a hard rule I would never abandon. I would keep my day job, and maybe leave it behind in 5-10 years, should I be fortunate to have a prolific and profitable writing career at that point.
But the thing about advice is that most of it is not one size fits all, and over the past year and a half, the pull between my heart/passion (writing) and my day job was creating more and more unhappiness and tension in my soul (and life).
So, I recently did the thing you're not supposed to do: I quit my day job.
Putting it matter of factly like that makes it sound easier than it was. In reality, this was a hard decision, one I'd been weighing for years. My job allowed for me and my husband to have a comfortable lifestyle. I had a team of colleagues that I loved and enjoyed working with. I was good at my job and my success was rewarded. I had an established internal brand, with a 13 year career at one of the most admired tech companies in the world.
How could I leave that for the maybe chance that I could sell a book? How could I leave that behind for what would be years of little to no income from my writing?
The answer was, I couldn't afford NOT to leave it behind. Not in the financial sense, but in relation to the expense taken on my mind, soul, and body. The tension between where my heart was calling me, a writing career, and where I was spending the majority of my time and mental energy, became too much. The longer I kept myself in that tug of war, the more my mental and physical health declined.
I knew what I had to do, but before I could commit to (and importantly, accept) my decision to leave, I first had to let go.
I had to let go of a situation that didn't serve me anymore
I had to let go of what I thought my career should be
I had to let go of who I thought I was supposed to be
I had to let go of needing validation from others
I had to let go of striving for society's definition of success
I had to let go of the fear of failure
I had to let go of my plans
I had to let go so I could move forward.
I recognize the immense privilege I have to be able to leave my job to pursue writing full time. I also recognize the hard work I've put in to take this time for me and my dreams. I recognize the support I have from my husband to make this happen. I am fortunate, grateful, and blessed.
Celebrating after my last day of work. As one of my favorite Star Trek crews would say, here’s to the journey. Cheers!
And while the overall tone of this post is reflective and a bit somber, I can assure anyone reading this that amidst the anxiety and fear, there is unbridled enthusiasm for what's ahead. Celebrating the end of one chapter and the start of another with my family and friends has brought nothing but joy, smiles, and a few happy/sad tears. Writing this post, exclaiming to the world that I am unapologetically going after my dreams, makes me feel proud. It makes me feel energized and empowered to put in the work to make my dreams come true.
Taking a cue from nature, the timing of this transition is poetic. Autumn is often called the season of letting go because this is the time when trees lose their leaves. But what many don't know is trees proactively lose their leaves (think, "cut" them off) in order to ensure their survival through winter. Come spring, trees grow new leaves to feed and nourish them, and the cycle continues.
Like the trees, I’m proactively letting go, so I can move forward and give myself the opportunity to grow. Many thanks to everyone who has helped make this possible. I appreciate your love, support, and encouragement. <3