The other day, I met with one of my critique groups over video chat, and someone (knowing the day job has been busy) gently asked, “Have you been able to write?”
I thought about the past couple of months, and I sadly and shamefully answered, “No.”
My day job has been busy. Beyond busy. I’m working more hours, and after the work is (never) done, I’m mentally and physically drained. It’s a constant struggle to find space for my creative headspace (see blog post from last summer).
But then, as things tend to happen, one of my sweet friends sent me this quote, completely unrelated to my writing struggle:
“When a flower doesn’t bloom, you fix the environment in which it grows, not the flower.” - Source: according to the internet, lots of people, but (maybe?) Alexander Den Heijer
I was struck by the imagery, but also by another thought: I’m not watering the places in my life where I want to grow.
My first thought was about writing, of course, and how I’m not spending time actually, you know, WRITING. But this could apply to other things, like working out (which I’ve all but abandoned in the past few weeks), or meditating or cooking more than reheating meals… the list could go on and on.
How could I become a career writer when I’m not spending time helping that part of my life grow?
Water Where You Want to Grow
The text from my friend also made me curious about actual gardening. I did not inherit my mother’s green thumb. Our garden out front survives, more than it thrives. So, I looked up what it takes to grow a plant:
Sunlight
Air
Proper Temperature
Moisture
Nutrients
Notice, it’s not one thing. It’s five things. And taking a deeper look, there’s more to these five things than appears:
Quality, quantity, duration of light influences growth
Plants need healthy root systems in order to carry the water, nutrients, and oxygen to their stems, leaves, and blooms
The texture of soil influences the amount of air, water, and nutrients it holds, and plants need 16 or 17 different nutrients (depending on the resource you cite) to grow
What did I learn from this research? You can’t just pour water on a plant and expect it to grow to its full potential. It takes more than one element to enable a plant to stretch its leaves to the sky and bloom.
Which means, I can’t just write new stuff all the time and expect to grow to my full potential as a writer. It takes more than getting words on a page to become the writer I want to be.
With this in mind, I thought back more objectively, and broadly, on the past couple of months.
Have I worked on revisions? Yes.
Have I worked on story pitches? Yes.
Have I read in the genres that I want to write? Yes.
Have I critiqued other people’s work? Yes.
Have I researched potential agents? Yes.
Have I put my work “out there?” Yes.
Have I nourished my mind, body, and soul in other ways to welcome creativity in? Yes.
Have I read for pleasure? Yes.
Have I talked about my stories with others? Yes.
Have I connected with my writing community? Yes.
Have I had fun thinking about my stories, my characters, and my many, many plot holes? Yes.
Actual flowers in my garden… THRIVING!
So while I gave my critique partner a quick and confident, “no,” the other day, the answer should have been “YES.” Maybe I’m not pouring superfood onto a blank page and watching it shoot to the sky. But I am attending to my writing like a garden. I’m making the soil more fertile. I’m pulling the weeds. I’m making room for the sunshine, and I’m soaking in the life giving rain.
Often we have a tunnel vision view of what doing that thing (like writing) successfully means. Sometimes that makes us feel like we are never doing the thing we want to do, we’re not doing it well enough, or we never have time to invest in it fully.
But the truth is, just like there’s more than one way to help a plant grow, there’s more than one way to help ourselves grow in the ways we want to grow. Even if it seems small, acknowledge what you’re doing, do what you can do, and give yourself grace. Know you’re tending your garden in the best, and many ways, you can. And over time, and with the right amount of luck, someday you and your garden will bloom and flourish to your full potential.